Someone asked me how to use meditation to give them the space and ability to figure out what they want in life. At first, I wasn’t so sure. This approach of using meditation as a very direct tool for a specific and tangible output felt antithetical to the practice.

 

But rather than react, I observed. I’m also on a path of practice, one that I know has no ending so I only hope I never stray.

 

Why did this feel antithetical?

 

So we proceeded.

And I asked him to focus on how he wanted to feel, instead of what he wanted. If you define what you want, there is a binary outcome. You get it or you don’t, and even if you get it, you may have lost sight of why you’re doing it.

By focusing on how you want to feel, you can open up a world of possibilities.

 

But that only works if you have the language for describing how you feel. And when we practice being present, and I ask you to really be in that moment and think about how it feels, we’re increasing our vocabulary. We’re practicing identifying emotions and feelings. It’s not enough to say I want to feel happy, because while that is true, that doesn’t really help you narrow down choices. But it’s a good start! Also, happiness is very hard to define! Do you mean you want to feel happy in the moment as you’re doing your job, or you want to feel safe and financially secure no matter what it is you’re doing, and that security makes you happy?